We are very excited to introduce Nurturing Your Holy Family (Amazon, $24.99), the second volume in our Heaven in Your Home Letters & Guide series! This volume features an inspiring foreword by Supreme Knight Patrick Kelly and a number of new features — including a Family Life Interviews section.
In this new section in Part II of the book, families just like yours share their day-to-day lives with us. We were so inspired by their answers to our questions about all the levels of their Trinity Houses. Below is an excerpt from our interview with the Bootsma family. Enjoy!
THE BOOTSMA FAMILY
NAME | Erik & Caitlin Bootsma
PARISH | St. Benedict Catholic Church, Richmond, VA
CHILDREN | Gus 13, Pete 12, Bridget 9, Edie 7, Zita 3
ABOUT CAITLIN & ERIK
Caitlin is from Maryland and Erik from Oregon. They met in Rome in 2007, where they were both studying, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. They’ve been married 14 years.
Erik wasn’t raised in a faith and converted when he was in his 20s at a Catholic college. Caitlin grew up Catholic—attending Catholic schools and youth group.
Caitlin works at their parish, coordinating the Works of Mercy. She is also a children’s book writer. Erik is an architect who specializes in sacred spaces such as churches and convents.
FAMILY LIFE INTERVIEW
How does your family celebrate the Sabbath? | We attend Mass and then the kids run around with “church friends” while we talk with other parishioners. We almost always get donuts afterward, a beloved tradition.
What is date night like in your marriage? | Sometimes fancy, like dinner and a symphony. Other times, it’s hard to leave the house or spend money, so it’s takeout, Scrabble and a movie. We can tell when it’s been a while since we’ve prioritized date night! They’re really essential.
How do chores get done in your home? | Our rule is that everyone helps. Even our toddler hilariously tries to wipe things down. The kids do their own rooms. The boys clean up after dinner and take out trash. The girls help with unloading the dishwasher and cleaning up clutter. It’s not perfect, but it gets done!
Tell us about your typical family meal. | Family dinner is important to us and happens at least six nights out of seven. We tag-team some meals—for example, Caitlin preps the food and Erik grills. A kid might make cornbread. We pray together. We try to have a common conversation!
What does your family do for hospitality or service? | Caitlin’s job gives us a lot of opportunities. The older kids love preparing blessing bags for the homeless. Our five-year-old helped set up for a visit from missionaries. Two of the kids traveled with Caitlin to Honduras to share the love of Jesus.
Do you have a home altar? | We have a spot on our piano that serves as our ‘mantel’ with a beautiful hand-carved statue of Mary. There, we put our manger in Advent and prayer quotes throughout the year. Sometimes, we’ll have candles there for times of quiet prayer.
What’s the secret to a happy marriage? | Recognizing one another as a partner to strive with for heaven. Seeing obstacles not as a division between us, but as a challenge to overcome together. Seeing one another as a gift from God. While not every moment is “happy,” marriage has been a joy.
What does your family do for fun? | We love to read, laugh, travel. It is very “us” to find everyone perched about reading. Or laughing over an inside joke. And we travel a lot, hoping to embed a sense of wonder and love of learning.
What one thing about prayer do you wish you’d learned earlier? | Talking about Jesus in a personal way with the kids. It benefits them when we share our spiritual lives, so they recognize that prayer is a personal conversation with a God who loves them.
What are some relationship practices or habits that work for you? | Listening first without judgment. It’s essential that people feel seen. Trying to ask questions to better understand where people are coming from, rather than arguing. And we talk about our day each morning over coffee.
What’s one piece of advice you’ve received that guides you in family life? | “Everything is a stage.” When getting up with baby at night is hard—“it’s a stage.” But also, that super cute age is worth appreciating. Take hills and valleys in stride—hard things aren’t the end of the world and joyful moments are worth stopping for.
➤ Check out “We Are an Easter People: Celebrate Eastertide Well” (National Catholic Register) for some ideas about how to continue celebrating Easter in your home!
➤ We enjoyed this conversation with Arthur and Ester Brooks in the most recent episode of the Abiding Together podcast. In “Marriage and Meaning,” they share beautiful examples from their own marriage — including how they attend daily Mass together and pray the Psalms together at the end of the day.
➤ ”Pope Leo’s October Meeting on Marriage, Family Gains Urgency Amid Declining Birth Rates in West” (Our Sunday Visitor) offers an insightful overview. We were struck by Catherine Pakaluk’s observation here: “When fewer people experience it [family life] deeply, something happens to the moral imagination of a society. We become less practiced in the kind of self-donation that a serious community requires. The risk isn’t only demographic; it is, in the end, a risk to our capacity for solidarity.”
➤ Are you a parent interested in building community among families at your parish, starting this September? Discover all the details here, and easily schedule a quick 15-minute discovery call with our team here. Dioceses can benefit from a special offer: three subscriptions for just $999 (or $499/year for your parish). Take the first step toward strengthening community among families at your parish right here!
➤ Nova/DC friends: You’re invited! Save your spot here for our May 16th Heaven in Your Home Gathering at St. John’s in Leesburg (5:30-7pm). Free dinner & childcare! Want to turn it into a day-trip? Here are some ideas from the Arlington Catholic Herald’s piece, “Road-tripping through Virginia,” which features Leesburg and Trinity House Cafe + Market.
➤ Trinity House Cafe + Market is in the Top 5 nominations for Best Coffee Shop in the Best of Loudoun Contest! Today is the last day of voting, so let’s finish strong! Vote here.
➤ Want to experience a Heaven in Your Home Gathering? Bring your family to one of these upcoming Trinity House Community Group gatherings:
Basilica of St. Mary in Alexandria, VA (in addition to 5 gatherings, their Religious Education office offers this for parents of children in their sacrament years, schedule here)
St. Rita Catholic School in Alexandria, VA (open to their school community)
St. Philip in Falls Church, VA (English group and Spanish-speaking group here)
St. Theresa in Ashburn, VA (schedule here)
St. John the Apostle in Leesburg, VA (schedule here)
Ss. Philip and James in Baltimore, MD (details here)
St. Louis School in Clarksville, MD (open to their school community)
St. Peter on Capitol Hill, Washington, DC (schedule here)
St. Theresa the Little Flower in Summerville, SC (schedule here)
St. Veronica in Chantilly, VA (schedule here)
Corpus Christi in Phoenix, AZ (schedule here)
➤ Check out the newest Trinity House Community Group promo video, featuring Susan Gray Sheehan, DRE at the Basilica of St. Mary in Alexandria, VA! Many parishes are turning to the Trinity House videos and discussion guides to build community among families in religious education programs. Watch this video and learn how parishes are strengthening marriage and family with Trinity House!
“I am truly inspired by the dedication and remarkable efforts for evangelization by the Trinity House Community.”
-Most Rev. Ronald Hicks, Archbishop of New York
